I find it very interesting how easy it is to self sabotage yourself.... I've been seeing this guy who is the first guy that I've decided to not see any other guys while I'm with him (we're not in a relationship or have had the 'are we exclusive' discussion, I'm just presuming we're not exclusive) and lately I've been feeling actually scared about this, that maybe I've made a mistake about deciding not to see the other couple of guys anymore that I was seeing beforehand, that maybe cutting them off was too soon, that I'm just going to end up being really really hurt by this guy that I'm seeing. I've been feeling so weird about this thing that I've been thinking maybe I should go back to seeing one of the other guys, like a safety net so that when this guy I'm seeing gets sick of me I'm not going to be as hurt or something like that. He hasn't given me any reason to think this, and yet here I am considering sabotaging this thing I have with him simply because I just think if I let myself get too far into this thing that we have I'm going to end up just being hurt and that's not what I want.
I'm pretty sure I'm not going to go back to seeing another person yet, I think I'm just going to not have so much contact with this person that I'm seeing and just leave it up to him to see where he takes it for a while.
So that's just my little vent for tonight, about sabotaging something you have when you have no reason to, it seems so silly but it's so strange that your thoughts just seem to be able to make you have so much doubt about something that should be so positive.
Goodnight, dream sweet.
No comments:
Post a Comment