Every year at Woodford Folk Festival at 11:30pm on New Years Eve the festival stops for three minutes and everyone is silent to reflect on the year that has gone past, it’s such a beautiful feeling to be a part of. For my three minutes I was thinking about what I have learned this year, and I think the major issue that I learnt this year was about being single and learning to feel comfortable with being single.
To go from being in a relationship where it felt like you were with the person who knew the most about you, the good and the bad, being with the person you felt most comfortable confiding in to just not having that is an adjustment. It was especially hard when two of my sisters left to live overseas which made me feel like there was this gap in my heart. Not having him to turn to during this time just made me miss him more. However, not just this experience but all the other times where I was upset this year after we broke up, forced me to deal with these experiences on my own, teaching me how to deal and making me realise no matter what, I will make it through anything.
There is this one song by Otis Redding which reminds me of this process, learning to deal on your own after a relationship: I’ve got dreams to remember. I think that often during a break up what people forget is that although this relationship is gone that you still ‘have dreams to remember”, things that you were planning for yourself, travelling, career, hobbies, anything, you still have all these dreams for yourself that just because you aren’t with this person anymore, there is still so much in life to experience without them.
Even though it’s been around eight months since I did break up with my boyfriend I still don’t feel ready to get into another relationship. I enjoy being single right now and I also think there are more things for me to learn about myself before I get into anything serious.
I believe that learning about how you are, discovering how you handle and experiencing being single is something that is extremely important to everyone to go through.
So to finish this post, one of my favourite quotes:
"We accept the love we think we deserve". Now for a bit of sweet Otis Redding....
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